Every designer I’ve ever mentored has, at some point, convinced themselves that their biggest problems come from difficult interior design clients. We all know them… they’re what we describe as the pushy clients, confused clients or even the disorganised clients. The ones who cross boundaries or change their minds daily! Unfortunately, although we instantly look to the client as the person to blame, I find that clients almost always reflect you back to yourself…
If you show up chaotic, your projects become chaotic. If your communication is scattered or unclear, clients respond with uncertainty, delays and mixed messages. If you feel self-conscious about parts of your skill set and start over-explaining or over-justifying, clients will focus precisely on the things you are trying to hide or overcompensate for. Whatever you subtly indicate as your weakness is exactly what difficult interior design clients tend to focus on!
There’s a confronting lesson that almost every designer learns eventually. If you spend your mental energy worrying about the kinds of projects or people you don’t want (like budget hunters, overly demanding clients, emotionally draining relationships), your attention stays focussed on those things, and that is exactly what you attract! Tony Robbins famously said where your attention goes energy flows. It’s a simple concept but it’s especially true when we are talking about dealing with difficult interior design clients!
Most “Client Problems” Are Actually Boundary Problems
When designers come to me worried about clients who are asking for much more than they’ve agreed, it almost always comes down to boundaries that haven’t been clearly set or fully claimed yet. It’s not the client! It’s not them disrespecting you, it’s the designer not holding strict to their boundaries or feeling confident enough to speak like a professional and tell the client that they’ve crossed the line. Most of the time it’s the designer trying to be nice and hiding behind their fear or saying no to the client.
When you’re reacting from fear rather than running your projects confidently and in flow, even the kindest client can unintentionally become one of those so-called difficult interior design clients because they’re following your lead and following a process without structure. The moment you clearly define where your role begins and ends, the entire dynamic shifts. Clients relax. Expectations settle. The project becomes easier for everyone involved.
If You Don’t Enforce Your Communication Boundaries, No One Else Will
This applies to messaging boundaries too. Designers often tell me they’re exhausted because clients keep contacting them on WhatsApp or Instagram DMs. But that’s not a platform problem. That’s a policy problem. You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. I learned this first hand when I started my own interior design business.
If you include boundaries into your T7C’s that you don’t respond via social media, (but still reply “just this once”), you have just taught your client that boundaries are negotiable. When you calmly stick to your system, clients adapt. They follow your lead. They are relieved to know what the structure is. It’s like having a child who needs to know how to behave in this specific situation. If there are no boundaries in place they will just behave like children, but if guided, they will behave in the way you expect. It’s just clarity and guidance (and confidence to execute).
If this idea feels new to you, you might find it helpful to read my post on the three client types every designer should know. Once you understand the underlying patterns behind client behaviour, it becomes much easier to recognise when you’re dealing with client dynamics and when it’s simply a reflection of how you’re showing up in your own business.
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A Quick Win You Can Apply Today
Take out your phone or notebook right now and write two short lists. This exercise takes five minutes and it changed the way I personally show up in my own design business. First, write how you communicate and operate day to day. Be honest and ask, are you following a clear workflow or design process? Are you consistent with updates and sticking to your rules and boundaries (or are you more reactive?) Do you feel confident when you speak to clients or are you more apologetic?
Next, write down exactly how you want clients to treat you. Do you want respect or the communication to be more formal? The gap between these two lists is where every current frustration lives. Close the gap, and the behaviour of your clients changes with you!
Change How You Show Up & Your Clients Change Too
Client behaviour doesn’t change because they suddenly become nicer or more organised. It changes because you stop sending mixed signals and start leading clearly. Calm leadership attracts calm clients. Clear boundaries attract respectful clients. Confidence attracts trust, and when you begin showing up with that clarity, even the most difficult interior design clients start responding differently to you, because the atmosphere you’ve created is different. You’re guiding the project rather than reacting to it and clients mirror that sense of steadiness (just like children do).
If you want a simple place to start, I’ve created a one-page Client Communication Guide inside IntoDesign that shows you exactly how communication should flow through each phase of a project (with prompts to check your contract and T&C’s!) It’s the structure professional designers use to stay organised, avoid scope creep and prevent most client frustrations before they start. You can access the template straight away here: IntoDesign Get Started.
Jo Chrobak
